Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
