just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
