I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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