Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
