3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
