Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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