The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize