After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
