So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
BRING THE BAGELS
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
