I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
