I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
