Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
