I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
