Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
