How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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