i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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