i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
