That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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