have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
