i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize