he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
