i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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