So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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