My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
