I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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