did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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