bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
