RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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