Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
