hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
