Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
