just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You're like the curious george of whores
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
