If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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