I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
