I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
