I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize