I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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