if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Less talking, more tequila
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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