Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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