White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize