So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
please don't ironically join a cult
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