Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
