i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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