He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
