dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
