listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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