in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
