And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
