If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
