I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
