He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
