I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
