HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
