dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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