no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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