I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize