she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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