nutella sex= disaster
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
