That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
