Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All the doctor said was why
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize